Sensitive?

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Sensitive?

Postby MsPhantom (129173078) » Fri Sep 06, 2019 10:02 am

Is being sensitive a good or a bad thing? Why or why not?

Are sensitive people more prone to emotional trauma?

Are abusive, toxic, and generally ill-intentioned people, by nature, drawn to highly sensitive people? What is it about sensitive people that makes them vulnerable to bad people?

Can people grow less or more sensitive with age? Can certain events force someone to lose their sensitive nature? Or is sensitivity an innate personality and emotional trait that stays with them forever?

Are sensitive people more prone to stress, depression, and anxiety?

Are sensitive people more likely to hold grudges? Is it harder for sensitive people to forgive?

Can you tell if someone is sensitive just by their appearance? Do sensitive people give off a certain vibe?
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Re: Sensitive?

Postby Rod (126579776) » Fri Sep 06, 2019 10:30 am

I think being sensitive is a good thing. As someone who struggles to be sensitive to others, I am often jealous of those who can do it in a healthy way. Where it gets unhealthy is when being sensitive becomes the driver of our "emotional bus". Sensitivity is not reality, but I've seen sensitive people driven to make poor decisions because their emotions won't let them see the truth. In essence how they feel becomes their truth.

My mom was a counselor for decades. She is one of the most sensitive people I know. She grew up in a traumatic home with emotional conflict and abuse running rampant. Her demons are many. But she has learned to channel the unhealthy and unchecked sensitivities into healthy and focused emotions that serve her well. But she will always struggle with a strong need to "belong" or "fit in". Her emotional state won't let her be any other way.

I have some very core beliefs about who we all are. We are a spirit. We live in a body. And we definitely have souls. Our souls are simply our mind, will, and emotions. The soul is the core of what makes us, us. We've all heard the expression "strong willed". Why is it ok to be strong willed and not ok to have strong emotions or sensitivities? We certainly respect people who are strong of mind. I think sensitive people just need to focus on mastering their reality. It is ok to feel things, but it is not ok to allow feelings to run the show. They can't make the decision and they certainly cannot run our mouths. This is certainly easier to write than to do. LOL

I hope some of this makes some sense. They are great questions and they are the deep things of life. :rose:

PS - I put "Be more sensitive" on my list of annual goals almost every year. :thumbsup:
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Re: Sensitive?

Postby THE SCORPIONS (184182673) » Fri Sep 06, 2019 12:31 pm

You can tell sensitives by the aura the same way someone on lsd can walk into a room with 300 people and walk directly over to the only other person in the room on lsd.
Its a scientific phenomena called the "Oh wow thats freaky bro" Oscillation

I can tell if someone else is sensitive just by observation. What the THING is ...is.. which way the sensitive uses the sensitivity. For what reasons.
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Re: Sensitive?

Postby MsPhantom (129173078) » Fri Sep 06, 2019 5:51 pm

Captain Shivers (126579776) wrote:I think being sensitive is a good thing. As someone who struggles to be sensitive to others, I am often jealous of those who can do it in a healthy way. Where it gets unhealthy is when being sensitive becomes the driver of our "emotional bus". Sensitivity is not reality, but I've seen sensitive people driven to make poor decisions because their emotions won't let them see the truth. In essence how they feel becomes their truth.

My mom was a counselor for decades. She is one of the most sensitive people I know. She grew up in a traumatic home with emotional conflict and abuse running rampant. Her demons are many. But she has learned to channel the unhealthy and unchecked sensitivities into healthy and focused emotions that serve her well. But she will always struggle with a strong need to "belong" or "fit in". Her emotional state won't let her be any other way.

I have some very core beliefs about who we all are. We are a spirit. We live in a body. And we definitely have souls. Our souls are simply our mind, will, and emotions. The soul is the core of what makes us, us. We've all heard the expression "strong willed". Why is it ok to be strong willed and not ok to have strong emotions or sensitivities? We certainly respect people who are strong of mind. I think sensitive people just need to focus on mastering their reality. It is ok to feel things, but it is not ok to allow feelings to run the show. They can't make the decision and they certainly cannot run our mouths. This is certainly easier to write than to do. LOL

I hope some of this makes some sense. They are great questions and they are the deep things of life. :rose:

PS - I put "Be more sensitive" on my list of annual goals almost every year. :thumbsup:


Do you think being sensitive can be a crippler? I've always been highly sensitive and I was at my peak around my middle school years(all those 12 year old hormones). I was fine for most of 6th grade but my sensitivity made me prone to bullying and it was always hard for me to just brush it off as "kids being kids". Eventually, around 7th and 8th grade, I would get anxious over the smallest things. A dirty look was enough to make me ball like an idiot and the mere thought of sitting in a cafeteria full of people my age or walking into a classroom on the first day of school was enough to keep me up at night in terror. :haha: I moved schools in the very middle of 7th grade and I went from a very, very small charter school with around 65 people in each grade to a very large public school with around 300-400 people in each grade and it certainly didn't help my case. I would avoid the cafeteria and certain events like dances like they were the plague and I regret it. I wish I didn't let my anxiety get the best of me in middle and high school. I wish I went to dances more and joined sports teams and clubs. I don't have this same issue now because I feel that I've grown in my emotional intelligence but I just wish I enjoyed my youth a little bit more than what actually happened.

Your mom sounds like a very interesting person. I'm glad to hear someone is able to channel negativity into something positive.
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Re: Sensitive?

Postby FILTHY (152622928) » Fri Sep 06, 2019 9:24 pm

Sensitivity is definitely crippling, and some people do tend to single those out who are because they find enjoyment in hurting them, it comes so easy.

I have a very thick skin and always have. Nothing was ever sugar coated for me when growing up and I am appreciative of that, I would have crumbled into a million pieces a long time ago otherwise.

You can definitely become more or less sensitive with age. It could depend on what is going on in your life at the time too. Vulnerability can bring the sensitivity out, even for the person with the thickest hide.

I don't know about sensitivity and grudges, but most stubborn people sure don't easily forgive.

I have always avoided highly sensitive people because I find them hard to communicate with. It only takes a little bit of conversation to figure it out, if they give off vibes, I don't feel it.

The best thing to do is not let people get to you when they try to hurt you. I know that's easy to say however, most are hoping you'll bite back. I just used to say thanks or throw an insult that they couldn't possibly top.
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Re: Sensitive?

Postby THE SCORPIONS (184148760) » Sat Sep 07, 2019 4:10 am

why fight something you were born to be? highly sensitive people are neurologically wired to be emotional and empathetic, they cry more easily which is proven to be good for your wellbeing. They have intuition about their environment that other people generally aren't aware of, which means they are more likely to notice if someone is upset. They also tend to avoid confrontation which I dont find to be a bad thing, On first imrpession they may not stand out in a crowd because they are usually also shy, but my Dad always said the person who makes the biggest impression when you first meet them usually turns out to be shallow and dull. Embrace your sensitivity, as you get older you will learn to make it work in your favour.
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Re: Sensitive?

Postby Rod (126579776) » Sat Sep 07, 2019 12:15 pm

THE SCORPIONS (184148760) wrote:why fight something you were born to be? highly sensitive people are neurologically wired to be emotional and empathetic, they cry more easily which is proven to be good for your wellbeing. They have intuition about their environment that other people generally aren't aware of, which means they are more likely to notice if someone is upset. They also tend to avoid confrontation which I dont find to be a bad thing, On first imrpession they may not stand out in a crowd because they are usually also shy, but my Dad always said the person who makes the biggest impression when you first meet them usually turns out to be shallow and dull. Embrace your sensitivity, as you get older you will learn to make it work in your favour.

Anyone ever tell you that you are one smart girl? You betta know it..... :hug:
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Re: Sensitive?

Postby Rod (126579776) » Sat Sep 07, 2019 12:46 pm

MsPhantom (129173078) wrote:Do you think being sensitive can be a crippler?


I think it can cripple people if they allow it. Every emotion or trait within us has the ability to destroy us if it is allowed to run our show. The thing is that we have to learn to distinguish emotion from fact, and act and dwell on the things that matter in order to be successful.

For example - I am highly critical by nature, and not in a healthy way. I can obsess on flaws for infinity if I allow it. I see errors everywhere and they will make me insane if I don't reign that in. So when my critical mind starts to drive emotions that make me feel like acting out on some flaw around me, I simply ask myself 2 questions now - will I die if it stays the same and is it my problem to worry about. The answer is almost always no and at that point my mental acrobatics are finished. I RELEASE whatever it is so that I can be free. Over the years it is now just a part of who I am and gets easier every day.

How do people who are overly sensitive successfully deal with being that way? It also involves some mental acrobatics, just as most traits and emotions do. The first thing to do is to recognize that most of the things we experience in life are not directed at us. In other words, just because we are the star of our own movie, doesn't mean that every scene we are a part of involves us directly. Most of the things that are said and done around us by others are simply them starring in their own movie. They don't really care at all who they hurt or what evil they throw around. Accordingly, you must stop receiving negative things as if they were purposefully directed at you when they weren't. This will knock out 90% of what makes you crazy and will give you a lot more energy to focus on and handle the 10% that remains.

Now for the heavy lifting. When life and people throw sh*t at us like they do for everyone else, we must be sensitive to it, but we must give it boundaries. My mom has become a professional boundary creator. If she doesn't know the people or person creating the issue for her emotionally, they are placed in a box and she will no longer allow her mind to sift through their trash. For example - we've had 2 recent shootings in Texas. They are horrible things. My mom used to lose her mind obsessing on the empathy for the lives destroyed. It would literally make her ill over feeling about it. She now has the much healthier response which is to call it evil, send a prayer to the families, engage in the healthy change debates, and then LET IT GO.

Now for those we allow to get so close to us, that they are given the power to hurt us. These are family members and our closest friends. This is where you will be tried the hardest. Because you care so deeply, any boundaries you draw are very difficult to maintain because you are emotionally bonded to these people. This is where good communication becomes your ally. You must learn to talk about how you feel when things are troubling with these people, without losing your sh*t. I can always tell when my mom is fighting her demons with me, because she always starts down the same path - Rod, when you said "" or did "" this, it made me feel like you were mad/angry/critical/cynical towards me. That's my queue to man up and own what I did or said. When people love and care about you, they will learn to embrace you as you fight through your feelings. That is HEALTHY. Now on the other hand, if people who are close to you consistently abuse that closeness and take advantage of your sensitive nature, then you need to start thinking about the hardest boundaries to draw in life - removing or limiting people close to us from that circle. It is why battered women go back to their abusers. It is why children grow up loving a parent in spite of how they were abused. Caring for and loving someone is ALWAYS a 2 way street. If someone doesn't understand that and they are close to you, then I'd suggest you put them on notice that you need to feel protected with them.

:thumbsup:
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Re: Sensitive?

Postby CyberPunK (187030201) » Sat Sep 07, 2019 3:21 pm

Empathy is a great thing, it's what makes us humans but everything has its ratio that once exceeded can become a curse more than a gift or an ability. I sympathize to extreme levels but i've been working on myself to not let that exceed "normal" limits because It can bring you down to your knees if you practice extreme empathy in the wrong situations or hand it to the wrong people. It's not easy because some of us are born "over-sensitive" and it can play tricks on your mind when you start to fight things that are naturally part of your character.
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Re: Sensitive?

Postby FILTHY (152622928) » Sat Sep 07, 2019 9:04 pm

I don't believe that sensitivity and empathy go hand in hand. I have people around me who are sensitive but do not feel empathy.

Being thick skinned does not mean that you are hardened to the world around you. It is the ability to be able to brush off anything that is directed towards you and not dwell on it and let it break you.
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Re: Sensitive?

Postby JeNNy (175442028) » Sun Sep 08, 2019 4:23 am

Being too sensitive is bad. Being too much of anything is bad for ya. :thumbsup:
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Re: Sensitive?

Postby CyberPunK (187030201) » Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:19 am

JeNNy (175442028) wrote:Being too sensitive is bad. Being too much of anything is bad for ya. :thumbsup:

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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Re: Sensitive?

Postby DAGGERDOLLY (135498958) » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:14 am

I've always been called "too sensitive" all my life. I've always been the "crybaby". I cry watching sad movies,hearing sad songs(no matter how many times I've heard it...I also cannot sing sad songs without bawling or ugly crying), seeing disturbing sad stuff on the news(especially when it involves children), when I'm angry or extremely frustrated. I feel as though I've grown to be less sensitive as of late, though still sensitive...just not "too sensitive" anymore, if that makes any sense...I am a hopeless empath...I feel I've grown more empathetic in recent years. I tend to cry over other people's misfortunes more than I my own any more. I was born under the sign of cancer and that tells me and everyone else I am highly sensitive. I am also sensitive to seeing things that others can't, but that's a whole other subject.
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Re: Sensitive?

Postby Christine (4327680) » Sun Sep 15, 2019 2:04 am

I'm sensitive to other people's feelings, but I'm not very sensitive. I actually frustrate people because I'm all "Logic!" and "Reason!" but I think that's the result of wanting to be VERY different from my over-sensitive mother. I'm sure some of it is natural, too, since my brother and I both take after our father in a big way, and we all let most things roll right off our backs. I was raised to be very confident in my strengths, and being a confident person, even if someone is being a jerk, I tend to just roll my eyes and let it be his or her problem. I also went right into some high profile positions soon out of school and then started my own company when I was 30, and I believe strongly that you can't run a successful business if you're too sensitive. You have to always be ready to just plow through obstacles, and sensitive people get taken advantage of in business, in my experience.
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